Christmas Countdown Day 13
Mason led them to the base of Frostbite Peak — a jagged monstrosity of ice that was actively snowing upward. Joe stared. “…The snow is going INTO the sky.” Buttercup slapped his arm. “Stop questioning magic. It gets offended.” The journey began badly and only worsened:
“The Forbidden Mountain of Questionable Wisdom”
After the Nutcracker Incident and Bob showing up with a ham swaddled like a newborn, the Chaos Four collapsed into the living room.
Peppermint, wrapped in three blankets, croaked:
“We need help.”
Buttercup nodded dramatically.
“We need someone unhinged enough to match us.”
Joe whispered, “That’s impossible.”
Mason perked up. “Actually…”
All three froze.
“NO,” they said together.
Mason folded his arms. “I do know someone.”
Peppermint squinted. “Is your someone alive?”
Mason: “…unclear.”
Buttercup sighed. “We’re going. I hate myself already.”
THE MOUNTAIN, PHYSICALLY HOSTILE FROM THE START
Mason led them to the base of Frostbite Peak — a jagged monstrosity of ice that was actively snowing upward.
Joe stared. “…The snow is going INTO the sky.”
Buttercup slapped his arm. “Stop questioning magic. It gets offended.”
The journey began badly and only worsened:
Disasters on the way up:
Peppermint slipped on an icy patch, did three accidental cartwheels, and stuck the landing.
A snowdrift ate Buttercup up to the neck; she demanded a rescue “without commentary.”
Joe got chased by a feral puffin he angered by existing.
Mason kept wandering off to “collect data,” which was just him eating icicles.
A random avalanche started because Peppermint sneezed.
They had to outrun it.
Joe screamed the entire time.
At one point, a goat stared at them from a cliff.
Mason saluted.
The goat winked.
Nobody questioned it.
THE MYSTERIOUS HUT
At the summit, there stood a crooked hut with smoke curling out in sinister little spirals.
Buttercup hid behind Peppermint.
Joe whispered, “Why is the chimney… growling?”
Mason marched up confidently and knocked.
There was no answer.
So he knocked again.
Then the door slammed open so hard it made the mountain wind flinch.
The silhouette inside growled:
“NO.”
Mason grinned.
“He’ll help.”
Peppermint whispered, “WILL he??”
The figure stepped forward…
…and we STILL don’t see who it is.
A massive hand yanked Mason inside.
The other three screamed and rushed in after him.
The door slammed shut.
What followed was a chaotic explosion of:
thuds
crashes
roars
Buttercup yelling “I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Peppermint shouting, “PUT THAT DOWN!”
Joe shrieking, “WHO EVEN ARE YOU?!”
Mason cheering like it was a carnival
A bright flash lit the windows.
Then a crash.
Then silence.
The door creaked open.
The Chaos Four stumbled outside looking:
winded
traumatized
dusted with soot
and violently confused
Peppermint’s hair now defied gravity.
Buttercup’s cloak was singed.
Joe was clutching a glowing jar labeled “DO NOT OPEN.”
Mason was beaming proudly, like he’d just won a prize.
Peppermint wheezed,
“…we got backup.”
Buttercup shook her head.
“WE GOT SOMETHING. I’m not convinced it’s morally legal.”
Joe whispered, “He said we’re not allowed to say his name.”
Mason nodded solemnly.
“Or look him in the eyes.”
Peppermint: “Or feed him after midnight.”
Buttercup: “Or invite him inside without permission.”
Joe: “Or whistle within thirty feet of him.”
Peppermint: “…we should go.”
THE SLED RIDE OF EVERLASTING REGRET
They decided to sled down the mountain to save time.
Buttercup crossed her arms.
“I refuse. We can walk.”
Peppermint shoved her onto the sled.
“We need efficiency!”
Joe climbed on, shaking.
Mason hopped on last yelling, “READY FOR IMPACT!”
Peppermint pushed off.
The sled IMMEDIATELY:
spun in a full circle
caught air
flew off a cliff
Almost landed on a family of snow bunnies
ricocheted into a tree
skidded across ice
shot through a snow drift
launched them into the air AGAIN
and finally crashed upside-down into a pine tree
All four elves were stuck in the snow upside down like unfortunate candy canes.
Mason spit out snow.
“That was AWESOME!”
Joe groaned, “WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?”
Buttercup snapped,
“This better be worth it.”
Peppermint pulled herself out of the snowbank, eyes sparkling.
“Oh, it will be.”
Attempt #10: Technically Not a Failure
But in today’s side quest, we gained:
A deeply mysterious, slightly terrifying backup
A glowing jar labeled “DO NOT OPEN”
A goat ally (maybe)
A near-death sled ride
A mountain that actively dislikes them
A hut whose inhabitant clearly regrets their existence
AND the promise that chaos level is rising again tomorrow
Peppermint whispered to herself:
“We’re coming back stronger.”
Joe muttered into the snow,
“I’m coming back with medical bills.”
Buttercup: “We better get hazard pay.”
Mason: “We will. In memories.”
