Christmas Countdown Day 7
But the whirlpool sucked in two reindeer wearing spa robes, an inflatable snowman, one confused nutcracker, and Peppermint, who screamed the entire 12 seconds she was trapped in the spin.
“The Lazy River of Emotional Damage”
After six consecutive days of mayhem, injuries, glitter-related trauma, and several security violations that required Santa to call an emergency board meeting, the Chaos Four received an official notice:
"All participants in unauthorized hot chocolate heist attempts
are required to take a rest day." By order of Mrs. Claus. …and Santa, who is tired.”
Peppermint taped it to the fridge.
Buttercup read it aloud three times.
Joe kissed the paper and whispered “thank you.”
Mason tried to eat it (unclear why).
So, with no crimes allowed today, the four friends headed to the North Pole Resort & Spa, the most magical relaxation hub in all the Arctic.
They checked in at the desk where a bored elf wearing sunglasses and a lei said:
“Welcome. No explosives. No snowman harassment. No stealing towels.”
All four looked at Mason.
He shrugged.
“I make one towel cannon and suddenly I'm profiled.”
The Lazy River Debacle
The resort’s Lazy River—heated, glowing blue, shaped like an infinity symbol—was supposed to be peaceful.
It was not peaceful.
Peppermint chose a candy-cane striped inner tube.
Buttercup floated on a pink flamingo floatie wearing sunglasses too big for her face.
Joe chose a simple blue ring because he feared fun.
Mason…
Mason brought his own float.
It was shaped like a rocket.
It was NOT approved.
The moment he hit the water, the rocket-shaped float began spinning.
Slowly at first.
Then faster.
Then alarmingly fast.
Peppermint: “MASON—STOP—YOU’RE CREATING A WHIRLPOOL—”
Buttercup: “MY FLAMINGO IS TIPPING—SAVE MY FLAMINGO—”
Joe: clinging to a plastic palm tree “THIS IS NOT RELAXING.”
Mason:
“WOOOHOOOOOOOO!”
Lifeguard elves blew whistles and shouted,
“NO TURBO FLOATS ON SUNDAYS!”
But the whirlpool sucked in two reindeer wearing spa robes, an inflatable snowman, one confused nutcracker, and Peppermint, who screamed the entire 12 seconds she was trapped in the spin.
Eventually the rocket float deflated, thank God, and all four drifted out of the Lazy River looking like survivors of a natural disaster.
The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Fiasco
They limped into the grand buffet hall to eat their feelings.
The buffet had everything:
endless mashed potatoes
towering dessert fountains
unlimited hot cocoa (not the special kind—Peppermint checked)
shrimp that Buttercup did not trust
a sign that said “NO TO-GO CONTAINERS FOR MASON”
Peppermint filled her plate with enough food to emotionally reset.
Buttercup built a dessert tower that defied gravity.
Joe ate one (1) baby carrot because he was still traumatized from the whirlpool.
Mason attempted to sneak mashed potatoes into his pockets.
Peppermint caught him.
“Mason, WHY?”
“They travel well.”
No one understood him.
Then Mason discovered the chocolate fountain.
He stuck his entire hand in it.
The manager wept.
Evening Planning Session
After surviving both the Lazy River and the buffet, the elves returned home and collapsed on the couch.
Peppermint wrapped herself in a blanket burrito.
Joe iced his back.
Buttercup had a towel on her head like a spa goddess.
Mason was still sticky.
Peppermint sighed.
“Tomorrow… we try again.”
Joe groaned.
Buttercup nodded bravely.
Mason whispered,
“I have an idea.”
All three yelled in unison:
“NO.”
“…okay,” Mason muttered.
“But you’ll want to hear it eventually.”
Peppermint smiled weakly.
One day of rest wasn’t enough to heal their bodies…
but it did restore their delusion.
And tomorrow?
Tomorrow, the chaos returns.
