Christmas Countdown Day 8
The Walk of Confidence They approached the Christmas Kitchen entrance with: Straight posture Serious expressions A synchronized speed-walking formation Mason humming what he claimed was “stealth music”
The Totally Normal, Not-At-All-Dangerous Disguise Plan
After a day of spa disasters, buffet crimes, and Mason nearly drowning three reindeer in the Lazy River whirlpool, the Chaos Four returned to their mission with a renewed sense of determination.
Peppermint paced the living room, hands on her hips.
“Okay,” she said firmly. “No explosions. No animals. No tunnels. No snowmen.
We need something SIMPLE.
Something SMART.
Something that won’t get us arrested again.”
The others nodded solemnly.
Joe adjusted his glasses.
“Buttercup, what’s the least chaotic plan you can think of?”
Buttercup beamed and held up a sewing needle.
“Costumes.”
Peppermint gasped.
Joe blinked.
Mason cheered like she just announced free candy.
The Elegant, Entirely Reasonable Idea
Buttercup explained:
“Santa’s kitchen staff is always busy this time of year.
Nobody notices new faces.
We make uniforms, walk in confidently, and act like we work there.
That’s it.
Classic infiltration.”
For once…
it actually sounded…
smart.
Peppermint: “OMG this might actually work.”
Joe: “We just need to blend in.”
Mason: “Do I get a hat? I want a hat.”
Buttercup: “Everyone gets a hat.”
They got to work.
The Costumes
Buttercup, being the most competent member of the group (low bar), quickly stitched:
Four peppermint-striped aprons
Four tiny elf chef hats
Four name tags that read “Definitely Real Employee” because she thought it was funny
Joe suggested they tone down the name tags.
Buttercup refused.
Peppermint twirled in her apron.
“I look professional.”
She did not.
Mason wore his hat sideways and said,
“I’m basically a manager.”
He was not.
The Walk of Confidence
They approached the Christmas Kitchen entrance with:
Straight posture
Serious expressions
A synchronized speed-walking formation
Mason humming what he claimed was “stealth music”
The security elves glanced at them.
Peppermint nodded professionally.
Buttercup waved politely.
Joe clutched his clipboard of fake notes.
Mason saluted for no reason.
They walked past the guards.
The guards…
let them pass.
Because it’s Monday.
And no one questions anything on Monday.
They made it into the kitchen.
They made it TEN STEPS into the kitchen.
Victory hung in the air.
Peppermint whispered,
“Guys… GUYS… this might actually—”
And Then Mason Ruined Everything
Mason, trying to “look busy,” grabbed the nearest kitchen tool.
Which unfortunately was:
A Cookie Siren.
A device designed to alert staff to burning cookies.
He poked the red button.
Buttercup screamed.
Joe shouted, “MASON NO—”
But it was too late.
The Cookie Siren erupted:
WOOOOOOOP! WOOOOOOOP!
“OVEN EMERGENCY! OVEN EMERGENCY!”
Every chef in the kitchen turned.
Peppermint froze mid-step.
Joe dropped his clipboard.
Buttercup pretended to faint to avoid eye contact.
Mason whispered, “I didn’t think it would work…”
Bob the Bulky Guard burst in holding an oven mitt and a ham.
“WHAT ARE YOU FOUR DOING IN HERE?!”
Peppermint tried to improvise:
“We—uh—new hires?”
Bob stared at their name tags:
“Definitely Real Employee.”
Bob sighed so hard it shook ornaments off the nearest tree.
“OUT. NOW.”
They were escorted out of the kitchen and down the hallway as Buttercup hissed at Mason,
“Why do you TOUCH things?!”
Mason shrugged.
“It looked like a button. Buttons want to be pushed.”
❌ Attempt #5: Failed
With 23% less chaos than usual
but 400% more embarrassment.
Morale:
Still weirdly high because Peppermint swears she saw the hot chocolate pot sparkling across the room.
