The Unraveling

The Fire and Longing

“Fire in my Soul” 

The moment I see you

My soul catches on fire 

I could see your longing

Burning in your eyes

And then I watched you walk away

I don't know how to put out the fire

I don't know how to take away the pain

To stop feeling that love that burns between us

All I can do is keep living

Use that fire to ignite my own passions

Walk in fire and endure the pain

You left me burning for you

Someone will see the flames

See the beauty 

The love that burns in that fire

And be willing to touch it

Risking the pain

“Pain”

It hurts that you can love me 

And still ignore me

It hurts that I miss you 

When in your world I don't exist

It hurts that love isn't enough

It hurts that I was never the one 

It hurts to watch you walk away 

Knowing you won't miss me

It’s easy for you to pretend you don’t love me

When for me it's hard to stop 

It just hurts

Love isn’t supposed to be pain 

And anguish

It’s supposed to be 

Bright sunshine

And laughter 

But it just hurts

“Dreams”

You were my dream 

My forever dream 

My unicorn

My fantasy

The impossible dream

The if only this could be true dream

My wish to be with you, 

Hold you forever in my heart dream

You are the boy I fell in love with 

The man I still feel the same way about 

Even after not seeing you for years

You’re the…

I wish he could see me 

As I see him dream

You’re the dream I have to walk away from

You’re my goodbye dream

My one regret dream

My if only he loved me like I love him dream

My maybe in our next life dream

“All that I am”

I am your love poems and quiet nights

Don’t love me but love me

I can’t stop thinking about you

The naked, raw love you make on wild summer nights

I am the fire behind your eyes

The castle you wish to come home to every night

Let’s go for a ride

I am the wish you never made

Your lighthouse calling you home

Your where are you and I miss you’s

The mystery that never got solved

The goodbyes and hellos

The whispers you cannot hear

The don’t let me go’s and I am ready to fly

Your the one that got away

Your the one I loved for eternity

Your soul and mine intertwined

The kisses good morning

Your everything or maybe nothing

The silence that kills me slowly

The love that grows even in darkness

“Feelings”

I feel loved 

I feel hopeful 

I feel sad

I feel unsure

I feel good byes 

And hellos on the horizon

I feel your lips on mine 

I feel time slowing down yet speeding up

I feel your touch on my skin 

Leaving pieces of your soul 

I feel the hope of something new growing 

I feel you next to me smiling

As radiant as the sun

I feel you here with me 

Your soul

My soul 

Intertwined in a dance across time

“Wishes”

Every time I see you 

My heart starts beating faster

The hope in me flies higher

My desire for you burns hotter 

Looking into your eyes all I see is home

My safe place

My future

Then I fall to the ground

When I realize you're just a dream

A never after 

A wish with no star

A love with no home

I carry it anyway

The Breaking

“Heaven and Hell”

Down on my knees 

Holding onto heaven

Yet living in hell

Can't catch my breath 

Every day is harder

Every night I beg for relief

Heaven is in my hands 

Yet hell is in my heart

Down on my knees 

Begging for relief

I am looking for somewhere 

To lay my weary head

Where is my strength 

The light to guide me

 out of this darkness

Holding onto heaven

Living in hell

There is no peace

“Waiting”

Waiting for you

I held my breath for so long

I forgot how to breath

I cried until

I forgot what joy felt like

I stood there waiting for so long

I forgot how to walk

I looked for you until

I lost myself

I waited so long for you to love me

That I forgot what love was

Waiting for you 

I lost myself

I couldn't see that the love I wanted

Was already right there inside of me

I started to breath again

I found joy

I learned how to walk away

And I found myself

I found the love of my life

Me

“Duct Tape and Hope”

Some days I feel like my heart is held together with duct tape and hope

Like the smallest thing could pull it all apart again

I am pretty sure if you held it in your hands and gave it a little shake

it would sound like loose change rattling around

like someone's lost piggy bank

I tiptoe around like a ballerina

hoping I don't fall and break

Is this really what love is supposed to be?

Breaking you each time he is near

Tearing new holes in a heart barely there

As you watch him walk away

But you know you're not finished

You know he lives deep in your soul

And each time you see him go

A little more of you starts to show

Until one day the duct tape lets go

And the love you've been searching for

Shines through the cracks

Of a heart you thought was broken

Only to find it was nothing more than a layer of ceramic

Like the Great Wall of China

Holding you in

You look down astounded

To find that the treasure has always been there

The clarity is as clear as a beautiful diamond

The knowing now shining like the sun

Your truth is cemented in the center of you

No longer lost in the shadows of him

“Good Bye”

Good bye expectations 

Good bye worries of the future

Good bye to that which made me feel small

Good bye to feeling like I am not enough 

Good bye to fears of failure 

Good bye to the traumas that made me

Good bye 

Just good bye to everything that hurts me

Life is too short to carry all that doesn't serve me 

Good bye

“I surrender”

I surrender to the unknown

The dark path before me 

I surrender to this feeling of being loved 

Yet alone 

I surrender to the frustration

And desperation 

I surrender my body, mind and soul

I give up the knowing 

I will let the universe lead me 

Maybe someday you will join me

But for now I surrender 

To the unknown

The Awakening

“Finding Me”

I can't find love with my heart attached to yours

My thoughts running blind 

Searching for you

I pick up the pieces 

Walking away from uncertainty 

Towards the light

Towards my own wholeness

My own love and joy

My truth

My destiny

“Self Worth”

I gave up on you

When I realized 

I am worth fighting for 

I am worth loving

I deserve better 

That loving you hurt too much

My self worth is more important than you 

Love isn't enough

Hope in me died

I can't go back in time

I gave up on you

“The Tether"

I walk alone

towards the center of you

and I alone

the world without a tether

to hold us down

without us failing to be together

I fail you

today

tomorrow

everyday that matters

you are not alone

yet you walk without me

there by your side

you are brave

I am weak

you are strong

and I have given up on us

you are the heart of us

I am the lost soul

you have left behind

you shouldn’t wait for me my love

I am too far behind

too lost without you

too hard to be with

I am the lost soul of survival

the antichrist to your hope

and love ever after

go forth without me

holding you back

you are the wings

I am the tether

goodbye my love

ever after

“Visions”

A vision that haunts me

A deep knowing that follows me

Years can pass

but there it is

Deep in my bones

rattling around like loose change

I walk this path alone

knowing my destiny chooses fear

instead of me

Don’t look back

Don’t look forward

Just focus on right now

right here

My destiny chooses fear

but I choose joy

A deep knowing haunts me

A vision chases me

My destiny chooses fear

Don’t look back

“Truth”

Deep snow

Deep thoughts

Wandering the shadows of yesterday

Fragments like shattered glass

Strings tugging

I was the puppet

Not the master

Today I walk a different path

No attachments to love not my own

Heart open to the great unknown

You were my path forward

But I was my destiny

May the love I have gathered

Be shared with all those that matter

“The world hurts”

When you find yourself

Begging the tears to come

washing away all the pain in your heart

Moving forward feels impossible 

You just stand there waiting 

Hoping

The World is too Hard to live in

Crawl into bed hoping 

Tomorrow will be better 

Saying goodbye shatters your heart 

Into a million pieces 

I say look to me

I am here

I am hope

I am love

I am your strength when you are weak

I am the light in the darkness 

Reach for me

The duct tape will let go.

The treasure is already there.

You are the love of your life.

Thank you for reading "The Unraveling"

If these poems resonated, share them with someone who needs to hear: You're not broken. You're becoming whole.